"How Could You?" by Jim Willis

[Azu]

//*note: if this is in the wrong forum, would someone be so kind as to direct it or me to the right one so I might transfer it appropriately? I was unsure...//

I recently read an essay written by Jim Willis, a man who bought the entire front page a newspaper for a total of $7000 dollars to display his essay in hopes of fighting against animal cruelty and people's general nonchalant dispositions toward thinking of animals as 'disposable'.

He has authorized distribution of this essay for no profit with the following conditions:
"If you distribute the essay or wish to publish it, please use the complete text, and please retain the title, my byline, copyright notice, my e-mail address and the URL for the book."

** “How Could You?” is included in a book of Jim’s collected writings, “Pieces of My Heart – Writings Inspired by My Life with Animals,” published March 2002 in both the USA and UK. All rescues and organizations may order the book at the same quantity discount that booksellers receive. See the book’s website: http://www.crean.com/jimwillis/ The book is now also available from amazon.com in the US and amazon.co.UK in England. Please ask your local bookseller to consider stocking the book and perhaps create a display of other animal-related titles.

----------------------------
“How Could You?”
Copyright Jim Willis 2001
tiergartenjim@yahoo.com
http://www.crean.com/jimwillis
How Could You?

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you
laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a
couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How
could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were
terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those
nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret
dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice
cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you
said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the
end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career,
and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently,
comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided
you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and
when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her
into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy
because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was
fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to
mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I
spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how
I wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur
and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes,
investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved
everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so
infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be.
I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret
dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that
you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about
me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the
subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented
every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and
they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made
the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was
your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal
shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out
the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They
shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities
facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he
screamed, "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for
him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and
loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely
refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to
meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you
probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt
to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How
could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy
schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.

At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front,
hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad
dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone
who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention
of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far
corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of
the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A
blissfully quiet room.

She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to
worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was
also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she
bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew
your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down
her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so
many years ago.

She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the
sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily,
looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry."
She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went
to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned,
or have to fend for myself --a place of love and light so very different
from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump
of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was
directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you
and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

-----

Also by Jim Willis:
“The Animals’ Savior”
Copyright Jim Willis 1999
tiergartenjim@yahoo.com
http://www.crean.com/jimwillis

I looked at all the caged animals in the shelter...the cast-offs of human society.

I saw in their eyes love and hope, fear and dread, sadness and betrayal.
And I was angry.

"God," I said, "This is terrible! Why don't you do something?"

God was silent for a moment and then He spoke softly.

"I have done something," He replied.

"I created you.”

[emperorempoleon2]

...Fick. (That's the way I censor myself.) That's... Depressing.

*locks self in room, blares My Chemical Romance and begins staring at pictures of Marilyn Manson whilst repeatedly slitting my wrist, hoping you realise what you have brought upon me*

[Yoshi648]

......... Deep man.

*sees dog on bed*
*goes to hug*

[Azu]

Well, I'll be honest, I just started weeping. When I saw this, I was watching it as a slideshow with puppy pictures added at certain intervals. To say that it broke my heart to read is putting it nicely.

*uses skeleton key to enter room, takes knife away from emperorempoleon2, and puts a dog in his lap to hug instead*

[Luxray13579]

I recently had my 14 year old dog put down, and I watched. So this has brought me an unimaginable amount of tears and now my pillow is wet (I'm in bed on my DSi).
That is very sad, but thanks.

[Cat333Pokémon]

Well, that was certainly a powerful insight to the thoughts of a dog being put down.

[Azu]

It was. Apparently it was inspired by a 9-year old Basset Hound that the man had saved the day it was going to be put down. Even though it is sad, it does help you appreciate the pets you have.

[LiteTheIronMan]

*sees kitten he adopted*

...

:3

She's putting on weight though...

[Azu]

Awww. :3 Kittens are so sweet. But they always seem to take pleasure in biting me. Really hard. T_T

[Snow]

Sorry to hear about the dogs.
~Snow